To start off, let’s get real, OK? If you landed here on purpose, then I bet you know all about feeling crappy about your body, that ENDLESS quest for a “hot” bod, and have been on countless diets over the years. Am I right? Aren’t you just SICK of it all?! I know I am and that’s why I’m here. I don’t want my daughter and her peers to torture themselves like you and I have. Whether you think you are too skinny or too fat, that pressure you feel is one I’m very familiar with.
I spent most of my life trying to be GOOD ENOUGH to be loved. This happened through finding my worth in my performance—getting “A”s, excelling at sports, being a “nice” girl. My authentic self became lost in all the noise. I denied my creativity, denied my voice, denied my body. In my constant comparisons to other girls, and later women, I was never pretty enough (I was cute and my friends were beautiful), thin/fast/strong enough. I became depressed and ate my frustration, insecurities and fear. In college, I went from a trim competitive athlete to a fat girl. I subconsciously tried to layer my body with a protective padding to keep away anxiety, intimacy and competition.
One day, I realized that I had to stop thinking like our crazy youth/thin/beauty OBSESSED diet culture. I needed to center my worth NOT on my talents, appearance or performance, but instead, on the truth of my significance—as a beautiful beloved creature made in the image of God. True acceptance was the key for me to stop trying to change myself and to understand that I am OK as I am. I’m accepted and love by the Divine! After many challenges and years of work I ended up liking and fully accepting myself. Yeah baby!
You understand that there is always more to go on this path, right? And that wherever you are is where you are. It’s ok. There’s no pressure to perform here. You can leave your performance in the boardroom!
In 2012, through intense reading and research, I realized how radically engulfed I still was in the dysfunction of our society, especially as it related to the ridiculous expectations put on us women. I grew up in Southern California, so I knew all about the pressure to look a certain way. This unrealistic way of being has been exported out of the land of the “beautiful people” into the land of all people. No one is exempt. You certainly haven’t been, have you? None of us is.
Now my mission is to help raise awareness and change this situation we live in. For example, in the USA we have made “disordered eating” the norm. It’s all turned around. I worked with an eating psychology coach for 3 months to make that leap 100% into becoming a truly normal eater, listening to all my hungers. I came to terms fully with the fact that I didn’t have to return to a buff athletic body to be loved. I could have a fat athletic body, or non-athletic. I stopped buying clothes that didn’t fit and went out to buy clothes to accommodate my changing girth (peri-menopausal spread anyone?). Of course, I continued to indulge my love of shoes and jewelry—no need to change that!
I realized that natural health, nutrition and working out were personal values of mine that I wanted to hang onto. I continued to release my creativity from its cage and try new endeavors. Do you ever feel like your creativity keeps taking a back burner to the professional and family roles in your life? It’s all related. How we ARE in our bodies is how we engage the world. Why not engage all in your life to the fullest?
Hi, I’m Michelle Hess, and I love my body and self as I am. Would you like to join me?
If you want to explore how to find total body love by ditching the yo-yo dieting, stopping the body hatred, so you can feel fantastic in the skin you’re in and live a life of pleasure, purpose and passion, then jump on in!
Love & Happiness,
PS. We have a FREE community of women you can join called BraveGirl™ Tribe and it hosts the Body Love Experiment™. To find out more about that go to BraveGirl.me